Sunday marked a strange (and wonderful) transition time for me. There are changes afoot – a baby on the way. And even though I feel nauseated most of the time, the idea is still settling in that all of this rigamaroll is going to result in a new human being.
That is to say, I spent most of the day a little shocked when people wished me a Happy Mother’s Day.
And I tried to say something here all day, to express gratitude for my amazing mom, my grandma, the women I love… but for some reason, the words weren’t there. I’m deep down happy, but also a little scared to be joining those ranks.
More than that, I’m acutely aware that mother’s day can be a hard day for so many people. My heart is achey and thumpy for women who want to be mommies – for the men who are also moms – for children (of all ages) that missed their moms this weekend.
Because my own words are failing me, I’m leaning on a friend. Even though I don’t have a dance teacher, or education professors, CheekyPinky‘s heartfelt words struck me as honest and true. They reminded me that I’m not joining ranks…I’m already in them.
So I’m sharing her words with you.
To my girl friends,
who have held me and loved me at my most unlovable,
some of whom are mothers themselves,
the kind of mothers I pray to God I might become someday;
to my girl friends who aren’t mothers,
but are sisters of my heart,
who keep me close
while my own sister is so far away.
To my education professors, to my pastor’s wife,
to the women in my church who take my breath away
with their faith and kindness;
to The Bloggess, to my dance teacher;
to all of the women who taught me that grace is better than anger
(even if I’m still Bad at That),
that it is Okay to be smart and funny and…
that God doesn’t just love women who are all doilies-and-teacups;
that it is Okay that I am not my mother’s Perfect Daughter.
I love you.
Happy Mother and Sisters’ Day.