Like most people, I need a routine. I need things I can depend on from day to day. I need structure and goals to stay focused.
It took me a surprisingly long time to discover this about myself. It took me exactly 28 years 342 days and 14 hours to realize that without structure, I naturally forget to do important things like…put on pants. Or brush my teeth. Or have fun.
What I had confused for so long were the words “routine” and “monotony.” For me, a successful routine can include a 9-5 day job (read: short stretches of monotony) if it also includes weekend trips or vacations or mental breaks every few weeks. But the key element (for me) is leaving time, money, resources and ideas for spontaneity. (File this one under “First World Problems.”)
When I was in high school, I had an emergency escape plan. If homework got too hard or if my parents “just didn’t understand” at the right time, I had an envelope hidden in my closet stuffed with:
an extra car key
a map highlighted with a route to California
and a wad of money.
That wad of money would have gotten me from Kansas City to about… Kansas. But to me, that envelope was an insurance policy. An escape pod. I never used it, but it was there: a safety net prepared to catch me if adolescence just got to be too much.
Ten years later, I live in California, I have to work harder for my money and my insurance rates stay low if I put fewer miles on my car. I’ve become an adult despite my best efforts. I work for The Man, and even if my husband “just doesn’t understand” at an inopportune time, I have no good reason to to run away. In fact, I have every reason to stay.
The past five weeks, I’ve been off work for medical leave. At first, I thought this would be the ultimate staycation (a word I hate, but an idea I love). But what did I do? Instead of knocking off a few projects around the house, or reading those books I never seem to have time for, or teaching the puppy new tricks, I found myself sitting inside on gorgeous days,
staring at facebook,
forgetting to put on pants,
stuck in the rut of routine,
no, not routine. Stuck in the rut of monotony.
With this face looking at me:
PLAY. WITH. ME. NOW.
Last Wednesday, it all got to be too much, and I needed to get out.
I *wanted* to drive to Joshua Tree.
Or Yosemite.
Or just out of Los Angeles for an afternoon. It didn’t matter. But when I saw that face and I realized I didn’t have enough ‘fun’ money to fill my tank and take an impromptu day trip out of the city… then naturally, that’s all I wanted to do.
Still, I needed to do something. I pulled out an old bag and stuffed it with:
my camera
a blanket
a pillow
a bottle of water
a sweatshirt
puppy toys
a book
and some snacks.
It took me an hour and 15 minutes to get everything together, find my shoes, charge my camera battery and put on pants.
When I left the house, I didn’t even know where I was going. Consequentially, I didn’t get far.
I ended up going to a familiar place, with people I know: A coffee shop I’ve been to a million times. And to be honest, I felt defeated.
So I am resolved: this won’t happen again. I’m hoarding away some extra cash, some day trip ideas, a blanket. I’m keeping my camera battery charged, and my shoes by the door. I’m going to keep an escape pod in the trunk of my car as a part of my routine: a plan to be spontaneous.
So tell me, what would you consider essential? What would you keep in your adventure kit?
Escaping is always harder than it seems it should be.
I try to keep my passport, a change of clothes, and enough money to buy a ticket to Israel in my possession at all times.
OOoo, good call! I always have my passport in my makeup bag for just-in-cases. Almost came in handy once
My husband and I discovered we need romantic getaway weekends at least every two months. It’s probably different for every couple, and different for every stage of a relationship. On these weekends we rent a house in a different city (mostly a very nearby city, but hey) and escape. We don’t do anything especially special; we buy two days worth of “vacation” groceries (I’m looking at you, Oreo cookie ice cream cones) and hole up in our new surroundings. Sometimes we venture out, if we’re on the beach, or if there is something we want to see. With no errands to run or chores to do it’s amazing how quickly you can relax. Once I’m relaxed, it’s amazing how much more I’m open to the whole “romantic” part of the romantic getaway too!
That sounds absolutely amazing. I know we’re getting to that part of our relationship where we realize we have to be intentional about setting aside that time to recharge and relax together – otherwise we get caught up in life and friends and other activities. There are so many places just outside this city that I’m dying to explore – I think this is going to become a part of our new ‘routine’. And so are Oreo cookie ice cream cones. YUM.
Trader Joe’s bag wine (don’t knock it…it’s good and it won’t break in your trunk) and an empty soda can (so that you put the wine in there if you are somewhere people would raise an eyebrow…or cops would write a ticket if they knew you were drinking…or if people would judge you if you were with your kids).
HAHAH!!! I haven’t seen their bag wine yet, though I’ve heard about it! We’ll definitely have to give it a try – and probably add it to the emergency adventure kit. That sounds right up our alley.
Oh, Laura, I’ve wanted to get away forever now. Unfortunately, I can’t even afford to drive to my parents’ house (they come pick ME (and Sassy) up when they want me to visit), and they only live 50 miles away. I try to compromise by taking Sassy to different parks in town when the weather is good. I am planning a trip up to KC next month, but I’ll probably have to bum gas money off my parents, and I’ll be staying with one of my best friends and her husband. I’m hoping, though, that if I can get my art business off the ground (have you seen the Brushstrokes by Niki page on FB yet? [end shameless plug]) I might be able to escape now and again… again.
Yeah, so I know the need to escape feeling all too well!
Craaaap… I mixed up the Name and Email forms. That’s another one to add to my list of Prof. Brainard moves for the day.
I figured I’d finish my reply to this comment so you know I replied
I really hope your business takes off and that it’ll allow you to have some more flexible fun!
One of the things I have not mastered yet is the ability to have *free* or super duper cheap spontaneous adventures. A few years ago, when my friend Regan and I both happened to be unemployed at the same time, he planned a day trip for us to take the metro around LA and take as many free or walking tours as we could. It remains, to this day, one of the most memorable and enjoyable experiences I’ve ever had. Unfortunately, travelling to see family and friends is always going to cost money if they live 50 miles away or more – money for gas, or a train, or a plane is always going to be a part of that plan, so it IS fortunate that you have friends and family who can help out in that way!
I HAVE seen your Brushstrokes by Niki page! I thought I’d liked it but I’ll go back and double check
adventure kit would probably have to include (at least) the following:
a hoodie, waterproof blanket, cash (probably to buy booze or pay a toll), frisbee, a french press, lip treatment, a flashlight, a change of underwear (maybe two), sunblock, diapers, baby wipes, writing implement, hair tie + one of my many notebooks. Oh, and something to drink above suggested beverages out of…and obviously, love.
I love this. Especially the notebooks. I require something to write with/on at all times.
$20 and a sleeping bag, oh and toilet paper. They live in my car so that if I’m ever stranded I’m good to go and can do it on the cheap (I also always have my tank at least half-full). I have occasionally thought of running away, but usually I remember my oh-so-wonderful hubby who’d be worried and waiting.
YOU lady, are wonderful. Those seem like the essentials and I’m now adding them to my kit